How did you cope with pregnancy?

[katie]

I'm 36 and trying to adopt with my husband as after years of discussing it we finally decided because of epilepsy for which I am fully controlled on medication and also with the spina bifida, doctors were talking about things like weight gain being a problem for my body with me being in the wheelchair, they said I would get regular injections in case of blood clots, more folic acid, might get problems with breathing as baby becomes bigger crushing my lungs etc, and this all seemed pretty frightening, especially to him. But even though they said there would be a small chance of baby having difficulties due to my conditions and medication, I just couldn't face the prospect of maybe taking seizures again after all these years, as now I work, drive, have a life and I just couldn't risk all that.
Has anyone else been through anything similar even with epilepsy and did you have any problems along the way? How did people cope with it all. At the back of my mind, I know I'll always want my own baby but I know it's not going to happen now and I'm really quite sad about that.

[Dodger67]

I don't understand why epilepsy is a problem for pregnancy?

Having SB and using a wheelchair is also not necessarily a "deal breaker" either.
Angel is only 4'9" and she has a son.

Unless there is something I'm unaware of I just don't see why you should not have a baby.

[angel]

I don't know anything about epilepsy but i do have Spina Bifida. As dodger said I am around 4 foot 9ish and my son is 13 years old. I walk with crutches but also use a chair. It made no difference standing or sitting in my situation at all because when i stand i bend so much at the hips i may as well be sitting. There is a picture of me walking with my dog in my profile that will illistrate this. As the baby grows bigger you do experience a little trouble breathing at times mostly when they are moving around alot during the last 3 months. It was never frightning mostly just felt like you had taken a brisk walk and it came and went it was never constant. My son was 5lbs and 15oz and 19 inches long at birth. I carried him to 37 weeks because I simply ran out of room for him by that time. He has SBO but I didn't plan before I got pregnant. He was a surprise as I was only 19 years old when i found out I was pregnant. Had I planned for a pregnancy i would have taken the folic acid etc and could have possibly avoided this.
Pregnancy really wasn't more difficult on me because of my size or my SB. i had to watch out for UTI's a little more. I couldn't drink anything but water (which really sucked)and the morning sickness (again not SB related) is not something i want to go through again. I was not bed ridden there were zero complications and I walked into the hospital under my own power. Other than regular uncomfortable moments that come with anyone's pregnancy disabled or not my pregnancy was very uneventful.
Everyone my family, my OB, just knew it was a bad idea for me to have a baby. All convinced i would die or my baby would come out a monster of some kind. They were all wrong. My urologist, whom my dad called to try and convince me i shouldn't have the baby, said she will be fine. Make sure you watch out for UTI's and do what the OB says. He knew that it wasn't nearly as big a deal as everyone tried to convince me it was. None of my doctors for that matter (that know anything about SB) had a problem with it. Just the ones who had never delt with SB other than my case. I knew it would be fine and it was.
Who told you all this? again i know nothing about epilepsy but know a few that have epilepsy that do have children.

Angel

[janjanwhit]

Just be careful with what epiliepsy med you take. sodium valporate can cause a baby to have sb.

[katie]

I saw 2 different sb specialist gynos at different times, the second time, hubby came to hear what was being said. Neither of them I felt were being negative in any way, they just warned me of certain potential difficulties I could face but were in fact very supportive of people like myself giving birth. One even said I would be expected to give birth naturally and that really surprised me as I'm paralized down one side so didn't think I would be able to.

The epilepsy thing is just that it increases potential problems to baby only slightly and so they were still supportive of it though. However, everyone else including family, hubby and even my GP who is fantastic don't think it would be a good idea. I'm the only one who has actually listened to these people and got all the facts. The only reason I decided not to go ahead was all the hassle from everyone else. I've already told him if he agreed tomorrow Iwould absolutely say yes to it. Now though it feels like any idea of that is way in the past. I feel absolutely gutted. It's not that I'm not happy with our marriage or anything like that, and I can see why to him it's all new and scary sounding but if he would just listen to the positive stuff it would be great. I'm on Tegretol Retard by the way.

[angel]

I feel ya on that one Katie, I fought against everyone in my family with the exception of my mother. The thing in my situation was I was already pregnant before the subject ever came up and no one but me could change that! Everyone told me i was being selfish because i wouldn't end the pregnancy, everyone told me i was ruining my life, everyone told me that I would die, everyone told me that he would come out all messed up, everyone told me a lot of things they didn't know anything about!
I had not planned on having anymore children after my son was born but my husband would be terrified to. I married him several years after my son's father and I had split. So I raised my son as a single mom for the first 8 years. He wasn't there to see how things went and he has said before I would be to afraid to risk loosing you. It was sweet in a way but I couldn't help but roll my eyes at that because yet again it isn't how they think it SHOULD be.
I am sorry you feel so bad I wish there was something I could do to help you.

Angel

[Gymp]

Hi Katie,I just wanted to add that I have a friend who has 3 brothers,they're all healthy,they're all born from the same mother who has epilepsy.

Gymp

[Dodger67]

How about just getting pregnant anyway? :sign0007:
To hell with what the family says.
Once you are pregnant there's nothing they can do about it.:dance2:

[katie]

How about just getting pregnant anyway? :sign0007:
To hell with what the family says.
Once you are pregnant there's nothing they can do about it.:dance2:

I don't mean to point out the obvious, but I kinda need hubby on my side for that! That's the sticking point.:p