What do you do when you have accident away from home?

[Avocado Baby]

Hi guys and girls,

I need some help here. I'm incontinent and have accidents. It's ok if I'm at home because I can hop in the shower and clean myself up. However, it's really difficult when I'm away from home and I quite often have to wait until I can get home to sort it out. Then I get infections (which seem to be my friend at the moment) It' also difficult because I work so I can just disappear off and it worries me when I'm going out.

They've got much harder to deal with since I had my last spinal fusion to T8 because I'm less flexible.

I need some advice as to how people deal with this problem as quickly and cleanly as possible.

Your help is appreciated :3a:

Ali

[misty]

Do you wear protection of any kind? If not, get some, it'll help keep your pants clean. Also, I carry wet wipes with me. You can find adult ones on the same aisle as the women's monthly products. They're meant for keeping clean during "that time", but they work pretty well for other times too. At least they help more than just regular toilet paper. Hope I've been of assistance!

[LisaJoy]

Are you talking about bowel or urinary incontinence or both? I occasionally have bladder control accidents. I use incontinence pads (regular women's hygiene pads don't work; they aren't absorbent enough) -- "ultra" absorbancy. Even though I only have an accident once or twice a month, I never leave the house without protection.

[Avocado Baby]

Thanks,

I wear Tena Mini Super during the day. I was talking about bowel incontinence. The problem I have is partly removing the pad without getting very messy and then actually cleaning myself.

[Gymp]

Accidents are a bummer but occasionally happen when I least expect them to.I use "Kotex Maxi Thins".The "Tenna" type of protection are rather bulky and I can't carry around a few extra in my back pocket.My main mode of transportation is a bicycle so carrying a sachel or purse type thing is really inconvenient.I can carry two or three of the maxi thins in my back pocket quite discretely and don't have to worry of having to carry something around with me all day.

I did loose a job once because of a bowel accident.While on my way to the toilet at work I pooped myself.I didn't have the nerve to walk back and pass all my fellow employees on the way to the bosses office to explain the situation.Rather than getting laughed at by everyone I just went home.The next morning I was called into the bosses office and let go.It was at a time in my life when I couldn't bring myself to explain my issues to anyone.

Sorry I'm not much help here,I'm just adding my two cents to say you ain't alone and it ain't an easy thing to deal with.

Gymp

[Avocado Baby]

Oh dear Gymp, that sounds like an horrible experience. I had similar recently. I was on the way in from my car and I leaked on the floor outside my flat. Fortunately noone saw it happen, but someone came out and saw it. The cats got blamed and I cleared up the mess.

I think I need to change my bowel routine, well, do it more often to avoid accidents, although they will still happen.

[NerdaliciouS]

I did that once too, Avocado. :( I felt guilty about the cats being blamed. But I didn't want to say anything either. *sigh*

[printemps]

good question - I dont have the bowel accidents that often but when I do gaaack , I just feel trapped and want to get home as soon as possible to take care of things. I am completely incontinent of bladder and wear adult briefs for that so I'm used to dealing with being wet away from home . My girlfriend is aware of my continence issues so that helps if we are out and I need to change . I try not to let the continence issue stop me from doing stuff , just kind of a pain dragging around supplies and what not ! Like to work . I'm sorry to hear you are having more troubles with it Avacodo - perhaps a thin adult brief would offer more coverage so to speak and make clean up easier, and maybe adult washcloths ? Or alter somthing in your diet I know sometimes certain foods can trigger bowel problems with us . Good luck - I wish you the best and certainly empathize .

[Avocado Baby]

good question - I dont have the bowel accidents that often but when I do perhaps a thin adult brief would offer more coverage so to speak and make clean up easier, and maybe adult washcloths ? .

Thanks for your advice. I'm not sure what you mean though. Maybe a language thing. I know us Brits tend to use different words to other English speakers. :)

[printemps]

Thanks for your advice. I'm not sure what you mean though. Maybe a language thing. I know us Brits tend to use different words to other English speakers. :)

Sorry there m8 didn't know you were across the pond . I suppose you all would say adult nappy . I use the Depends what they call briefs the kind with the tapes .

[gothicarmy18]

i bring along with me one of those travel-size baby wipes containers in my "go everywhere" bag....as well as extra underwear, maxi-pads, plastic bags for the dirty underwear, febreeze, body spray. and for when i'm at work, i load up on panty hoses, since they require me to wear those as part of my uniform.

in my car and locker (at work) i have an extra pair of black pants and a black tunic just in case.

this problem occurs all too often for myself. most of the time its because i don't watch my diet well enough to maintain a balance in my intestinal track to manage my work/social schedule. a little salad could mess up my entire day!

[gothicarmy18]

Gymp...i'm right there with you. no one realizes how hard it is to hold those cheeks together and race up to the nearest employee bathroom only to go on yourself just as you're stripping the panty hose off so gently you don't want to rip them.

[gothicarmy18]

My girlfriend is aware of my continence issues so that helps if we are out and I need to change . I try not to let the continence issue stop me from doing stuff , just kind of a pain dragging around supplies and what not !


how did that go? (telling your girlfriend?) i have serious committment issues due to the fact that i have SB and i feel that no one outside of my family who were burdened with my being raised with this could deal with it. i still "date" but very few people actually know what i deal with.

[sean]

Gee thanks for bringing this up........gulp!..another of my dirty little secrets...can't think of words....NEVER talked about it. Bugger, I think this is the ? at the root of all my fears shame guilt social self esteem............ME and my insecurities.
Seemingly phobic/paranoid, but maybe you guys understand I'm not, I'm still living a big secret life, managing it the best way I can.
For my bladder, it's always been up to my (manual) management, (so it's really my fault)
Hopeless managing a urostomy and bag 20yrs (big stinker,didn't care). Catheterised 5yrs, wet as in between, used Tena 2 until they were not enough. I never cathe'd away from home, Always carried spare pads clean jocks, there's no containing the stench. These days urodome and leg bag, I keep a spare dome in my trusty shoulder bag I'm never seen without, it doubles as something to hide behind. Doesn't seem to matter how diligent my management 'leaks happen'. I have dissapeared from countless jobs, opportunities, social situations over the years.
My bowel terrifies me, I feel I have this dark history of pooping myself and the panic to hide it, horrible memories. My already neurogenic spastic bowel was further complicated/exsaserbated with bowel surgery/loss ? 20yrs ago. Lack of sensation of my anus, bowel loss/constant diarrea, meds and routine my only hope.
Maybe this is shocking, but just between you guys and me, I'd say maybe 3 times out of 10 I get back home clean, as in 'not' pooped myself. Diet, meds, routine, exercise doesn't matter. My goal is to have dryish firm stools, it makes clean up so much easier.
I wear two pairs of undies and a nappy liner, I'm usually onto it in a split second of the hint of smell or wieght in my pants (shoulder bag).
"Shit Happens" could be my second name, certainly my nature, lol!

[LisaJoy]

Sean - just wanted to say that I missed you and I'm glad you're back!

[Avocado Baby]

Sean,

thanks for sharing this. It's made me feel better. I have to say, I can relate to alot of what you said. When I do have an accident, I can't manage to clean myself up without having a shower because I get myself messy. Mainly because of lack of movement and being able to get my legs out of the way.

I try and just carry on and wait til I get home to clean myself up (because I don't want to leave work, social situations and face being rejected, sacked...whatever) I really shouldn't do it because now I have a pretty much constant UTI. Keeping a good routine and bowel programme is important and would really help, but I'm just hopeless at it. I'm very ashamed of myself for that!

Thanks for making me feel I can be honest too Sean.

[Gymp]

...My goal is to have dryish firm stools, it makes clean up so much easier.

Exactly...I've got biggish rabbit type turds,very easy to clean up and that's how I like it...Rice,potatoes and codeine keeps it there.I tend to stay away from fiber and roughage.Yes,I know it's not exactly healthy but it works for me the majority of the time.

... Keeping a good routine and bowel programme is important and would really help, but I'm just hopeless at it. I'm very ashamed of myself for that! ...

Don't be too hard on yourself,we're only human.We've got a heck of a lot more to deal with than the regular Joe on the street,that's for sure!

A scary thing for me is when you get an abdominal cramp and you're left wondering if you're going to just pass gas or...???

Gymp

[gothicarmy18]

i'd be sooo fat if i ate nothing but potatoes and rice all week

[sean]

Thanks Lisa, great to be back, fab' new laptop and broadband! Ye Ha!

Shame, it's a toughy, bit of an occupational hazzard so to speak, I think I'm above it now. How I think I eliviate it is 1. recognise it as it's happening, separate it from myself, look at it as something happening to me. 2. realise it is the 'sense' of shame I'm feeling, it's not real. I know I have nothing to be ashamed of, it's eeeverybody elses idea/sense of shame that I'm expected to feel. I'm the bright spark who knows the truth, eeeverybody else, not a clue, bless'm. I kind of give it back, 'I' am the only one who knows what 'I' may or may not be ashamed of. Don't buy into others idea of shame.
Feeling ashamed of yourself feels bad, but I think it's a clear message to change whats causing it and suggests you know, need and want change.
Easy to say, guess we all individually have our all over the place ?line were pride ends and shame begins.
Secretly between you guys and me, I can feel wickedly shamefull with my masterfull self (as in with the incontinence experience in public). I cross my line of shame, let myself feel it, when I know I have poop in my pants and continue doing what I'm doing.
It's an art of getting away with it, not letting it disrupt me, equally containing it and hidden. I take such risks, feels like thrill seeking, I switch into multi mode, strategies, moves, full alert. When I've achieved what I was doing, all done cleaned up, I get some sort of HA HA! satisfaction for taking control and not letting the poop in my pants be the priority. Is this all too wierd?
I feel like I'm winging it, getting away with it, determined to keep enjoying the good life.

Avocado Baby, I have dreamed of the security of a wheelchair (or even a dress lol) thinking it would solve public incontinence exposure, obviously a whole lot of problems in itself. Seems like your winging it too, only you know whats best for you, you know what your doing thats wrong. I feel your complacency, I know it's exhausting, we have this 24/7 secret self mothering life style to maintain, then live.
When I had my urostomy and bag, for yrs and yrs I used 'not' drinking so I could travel work and socialise. The stench of small amount of concentrated wee probably just as bad as a full bag of wee. I am now paying the price with kidney troubles.
Great thing about living alone, I've realised my standard of maintaining my incontinence for me! I've let go of the desperation to protect and live up to the standards of others.
I think my standards are high, considering, but the unpredictability of B&B means I will never meet the standards of all people all the time.
Shit happens!.....I know I'm over it.....so what!

Rabbit turds lol.....I know, isn't it awful trying to maintain a degree of constipation.
Totally against anything mainstream good for bowels, I know I'm doing wrong.
It's so bloody aggrivating and uncomfortable, I feel threatened by blockages as much as I'm affraid of diarrea. It's a balancing act, priority to keep it going, in and out.
Farting, it's a worry. I have absolutely no warning, anywhere any time, it's hard to know/risk it being more than a fart. ASAP pinch test, odour evaluation, flight mode ready. I know I'm being ?paranoid/obssessive when I race (in my calm way) to the nearest toilet..........it was just a fart. I often do that during the night half wake up race to the loo, thinking I've pooped......just wind.