Normal or Not

[rlthomas5]

I am new here and this is my second post.
I hope people do not take this the wrong way, It is just the way I feel.
I was born with sb and have lived with it for 30 years. I personally do not
feel that I am normal. Most people with a disability get extremely mad if you in any way refer to them as not normal.
I am the opposite. I feel a normal person is somone who doesnt wear a diaper,
can have sex, doesnt have to catherize themselves etc. I am a very happy, outgoing person but I am not normal.
I dont want to make anybody mad, I just wondered what other people thought on this subject.

Thanks

[angel]

I don't know i am 31 years old and i feel perfectly normal.
The way i look at it is who set the standard for normal?
Who gave them the authority to do so?
No one is perfectly normal everyone has their differences weather or not you can see them.
To me this is normal. I have never walked without aid. I have always had to deal with bathroom issues, i have always had SB. This is MY normal!! If you took all this away from me now (yeah i am speaking of the above mentioned problems) i don't know what i would do with myself!!!! I would feel so akward if i could all of a sudden walk without my crutches. I don't understand how anyone trusts their legs only!! Mine have always let me down so even if i had perfectly functioning legs some day i would NEVER be able to trust them. My mind is wired differently. Now that i really think about it what the hell would i do with my arms? Now they are in use with my crutches but if i didn't use them what do you do with them. Do you just let them hang there, do you swing them back and forth. Does one do that on purpose or is it just natural.
I am not going to get into your personal business about the sex part. I don't know your personal circumstances but i have read a lot about disability and sex and i have yet to read where anyone absolutly could not. There are drugs and all kinds of things to fix whatever problems may present themselves.
So i guess i can say yeah i am normal. To me i am normal, to my husband i am normal, to my children i am normal. To everyone else i don't know but to me that doesn't even matter.

Angel

[Dodger67]

I know exactly where you are coming from. I used to live there too.

You should discuss a surgical solution for your incontinence with your urologist, continent catheterisable diversions such as Mitranoff or Illeal T-pouch work very well. I said goodbye to pads about 5 years ago.

Since then I have also become sexually fulfilled - I have a really awesome girlfriend - there is a photo of the two of us elsewhere on this forum. I won't say more about it in this open section, if you want to discuss the "gory details" further post your questions in the "Adults Only" section.

[printemps]

What is normal anyway . My opinion is everyone has something that they feel inside makes them not normal . There is the flipside too you may have a talent a gift or positive traits that are not " normal " but these are good things . I have afos and incontinence issues too so I know how you feel ,some times I dont feel like I am like everyone else but Im not like everyone else and thats a good thing too . By the way you can wear diapers and have sex , I do and I have ... I may have taken a bit longer to find the right girlfriend than someone without continence issues but I chalk that up to mostly my own shyness and societys taboos with incontinence .

[technovicki]

i can relate with everyones post...although i didn't realize i wasn't "normal" until college. sure i got teased as a kid but like angel stated its all i knew and while i knew i was different i didn't think i wasn't "normal". i grew up as a tomboy in a pretty much all-boy neighborhood. and these kids were average kids and when we played baseball i batted and someone ran to first base and i ran the rest. when playing football i played quarterback for both sides and basketball i became a great long range shooter. but college was all new people and while it wasn't a negative reaction it was a reaction nonetheless...but college also taught me what printemps stated that 'what is normal?' and being out there on my own with no parents and having to make new friends forced me to become stronger. don't get me wrong i still have my moments and get down on myself and frustrated but i will always have SB but SB is not who I am so I try to dig myself out of the hole. i am 29 yrs. old and still single and have had issues with personal relationships. feel free to PM me if you ever want to talk.

[lolathechecker]

I don't know i am 31 years old and i feel perfectly normal.
The way i look at it is who set the standard for normal?
Who gave them the authority to do so?
No one is perfectly normal everyone has their differences weather or not you can see them.
To me this is normal. I have never walked without aid. I have always had to deal with bathroom issues, i have always had SB. This is MY normal!! If you took all this away from me now (yeah i am speaking of the above mentioned problems) i don't know what i would do with myself!!!! I would feel so akward if i could all of a sudden walk without my crutches. I don't understand how anyone trusts their legs only!! Mine have always let me down so even if i had perfectly functioning legs some day i would NEVER be able to trust them. My mind is wired differently. Now that i really think about it what the hell would i do with my arms? Now they are in use with my crutches but if i didn't use them what do you do with them. Do you just let them hang there, do you swing them back and forth. Does one do that on purpose or is it just natural.
I am not going to get into your personal business about the sex part. I don't know your personal circumstances but i have read a lot about disability and sex and i have yet to read where anyone absolutly could not. There are drugs and all kinds of things to fix whatever problems may present themselves.
So i guess i can say yeah i am normal. To me i am normal, to my husband i am normal, to my children i am normal. To everyone else i don't know but to me that doesn't even matter.

Angel

i love what you said angel. you have such a good attitude about life. i hope you dont mind, but im going to print that off and save it, so that one day, when my baby is having a bad day i can show it to her.

[misty]

I agree with Dodger. I am 25, married, incontinent, and I have sex. Usually, I go to the bathroom before and take care of anything that needs doing, if ya know what I mean. I make sure I'm clean, because I can't stay dry with cathing, but after that, it's no big deal.

[angel]

i love what you said angel. you have such a good attitude about life. i hope you dont mind, but im going to print that off and save it, so that one day, when my baby is having a bad day i can show it to her.

Thank you I didn't see this post until today. I think that is very sweet and i am honored that you want to show it to your child someday.


Angel