Beauty ( or handsomeness, if any guys want to chime in :-p)

[Justy Me]

Maybe this question is cheesy, but considering the fact that we're human and have off days, I thought I'd ask anyway.

What do you all do to make yourselves feel/ remind yourselves that you're beautiful? Today I was feeling incredibly insecure---fat and puffy, typical female stuff lol, due to the extra calories and protein drinks I have had to ingest lately ( is it possible to gain much in 3 weeks' time??). I ran into someone I've had a thing for and it set off all these negative thoughts in my head. I had to remind myself of the fact that I wasn't "fat" due to sheer lack of will power, but rather to rid myself of the burn on my leg. But I felt bad enough that it was as though I was an insecure teenager, wondering whether or not my appearance is why I'm not good enough to be someone's " one and only". (This, I suppose is where the cheesiness sets in lol). On days when matters of the heart aren't at play, a little exercise and a dab of perfume do the trick :)

Anyway I thought perhaps it would be a nice idea to share thoughts and/or ideas and maybe we could gain insight for the times when those little voices in our heads are not so nice and it's hard to tune them out. Of course, the bigger picture is self worth, but I know from the posts on here that we all more or less feel worthy as human beings, so please know I'm not insinuating anything in that respect.

[Dodger67]

For me being well dressed helps a lot.

I try to dress in a way that fits my figure (short & wide) and camoflages my belly.
Luckily my broad shoulders and large chest allows a shirt to hang loose over the tummy - don't tuck it in too tight.
Show off my "assets" (shoulders, chest, arms) and draw attention away from the "problem areas" (belly, skinny short legs)

You won't easily catch me wearing a T-shirt in public - I only sleep in them.

Take a look at www.beautyability.com (http://www.beautyability.com)

[angel]

I do the whole make over on those days. I do my nails, i will fix my hair put on make up the whole 9 yards. I have always thought you feel better when you look better. I don't do this every day by any means however you won't see me leaving the house without my make up unless I am leaving in an ambulance.
My hubby always asks why I bother to do that stuff if we aren't going anywhere special. I just remind him to be glad that i care lol.

Angel

[Liznjohn]

I usually avoid such topics because it can be a bees nest, but thought I could offer an insight. Keep doing what you are doing to make yourself healthier, exercise....eating right and so on. The healthier you are the better you will feel and ergo look. Do whatever cosmetically that makes you happy. Beyond that put it out of your mind.

Why? Guys will pick up on signals of self-consciousness or self-confidence long before they will ever see a 2 pound (or for that matter a 10 pound)difference in your weight or what ever else may bother you that day. Remember, you will always look at yourself with a more critical eye than anyone else will ever do.

It is more important that you be yourself and enjoy the time spent with friends and significant others because insodoing they will enjoy the time as well. It is this what friends and significant others remember, not a burn on your leg.

John

[LisaJoy]

I remember those days when I was in my 20s & 30s. At 47, I've grown to be comfortable in my own skin, and mostly unconcerned about meeting guys. I hope someday to find a significant other, but it just doesn't occupy my time now. I tend not to focus on external beauty at all. The key, I think, to winning friends is to put others first, be kind, and be a good listener. I really can't do anything about my deformed spine & short stature, so I try to be a beautiful person on the inside and to have integrity -- by which I mean living my life in a way consistent with my professed faith in Christ.

[misty]

I have fat, puffy, short days too. I'm pretty much of the same opinion as LisaJoy though. Most days, I just do me, and don't worry about my appearance to much with regard to the areas I can't change. On fat, puffy, short days though, I try to do what I can with what I've been given and remember fat days are temporary. I think as I get older, I think less about who's looking at me and why they're looking. I just do what I feel and look how I look. Maybe it comes with age. Maybe I'm getting old before my time...(goes to the bathroom mirror to search for grays)!

[eng188]

I'm 35 and balding rapidly. Got a big belly as well. SB folks in general complain about how hard clothes shopping can be, because it can be hard for some to get a good fit. And that holds true for me.

This is a very interesting thread, but I'mnot really sure how to respond to it. I don't dress up too much like Roger does. I have a very hard time staying tucked in, plus, I like lighter clothes.

That said, at this Fitness Clinic for the Disabled that I attend at San Diego State University, our trainers are all students of the school of Exercise and Nutritional Science (ENS). Makes for great people-watching, because those folks are very in tune with what they wear, even if it's just for comfort.

I think I've probably learned a bit from them. lol. I do like to be in soccer pants and a college tee, usually. I do think it looks best on me and is most comfortable.

So, yes, I put some effort daily into wearing what I most want to wear that day. Even if it's not others' cup of tea, it makes me feel better.

[Gymp]

I'm like Misty and Lisa,I'm comfortable with who I am.I usually can be found wearing a tee-shirt (summer) sweatshirt (winter) and a pair of bluejeans.If I gotta dress up nice for a wedding or funeral then it's a button up shirt a blazer over top and a pair of brand new black jeans.

I really don't worry at all about how I look anymore I am who I am,nothing more and nothing less and I'm happy to be where I'm at.

I treat people the way I want to be treated,basically it's do unto others as you want them to do unto you.If people don't want to play nice I usually don't even bother with them,what's the point,life's too short.

Gymp

[Dodger67]

I didn't mean to imply that I "dress up" as such, because I don't, in fact I wear a tie no more than two or three times a year.
All I meant was that I am aware of what types/styles of clothes suit my shape best: button up shirts worn with plain trousers with no detailing to de-emphasise my legs, and avoid anything that displays my tummy such as a tight pullover.

One can be "well dressed" even in discount store clothes, it's not synonymous with "dressed up".

[eng188]

I hear you. I didn't even mean to that standard. I haven't worn a tie in 3 years at least. "Dressed up" for me is going to Chili's with my parents in slacks and a polo, or occasionally slacks and a button up shirt. I just hate not being comfy. Today it's long gym pants and a t-shirt from an American Women's Pro Soccer team and their '11 championship.

[Gymp]

Today it's a tee-shirt and sweatshirt over top,it's a tad nippy today with a high of 8c (46f)...Pretty soon it'll be time to pull out the felt lined jeans.LOL...I haven't worn a tie in well over 30 years.

Gymp

[Justy Me]

For me being well dressed helps a lot.

I try to dress in a way that fits my figure (short & wide) and camoflages my belly.
Luckily my broad shoulders and large chest allows a shirt to hang loose over the tummy - don't tuck it in too tight.
Show off my "assets" (shoulders, chest, arms) and draw attention away from the "problem areas" (belly, skinny short legs)

You won't easily catch me wearing a T-shirt in public - I only sleep in them.

Take a look at www.beautyability.com (http://www.beautyability.com)

Yes, being well dressed does help, and it's true that it doesn't necessarily mean wearing formal clothes. Whatever makes you feel good. I quite like cashmere sweaters. I tend to love the fall season for that reason lol...comfortable clothing that is nice and looks good on me. It's my favorite time of the year. Oh, btw I am familiar with that website I frequently check it out.

I do the whole make over on those days. I do my nails, i will fix my hair put on make up the whole 9 yards. I have always thought you feel better when you look better. I don't do this every day by any means however you won't see me leaving the house without my make up unless I am leaving in an ambulance.
My hubby always asks why I bother to do that stuff if we aren't going anywhere special. I just remind him to be glad that i care lol.

Angel

I hear ya I am EXACTLY the same way. Even if I'm in that ambulance, somebody here will be instructed on putting some eyeliner on me before I get carried at the very least! ha ha

I get asked that at times as well, " why are you so dressed up?", even when I'm not particularly dressy. I usually wear jeans and a nice top/sweater out and makeup...I guess I just know how to work it :-p

I usually avoid such topics because it can be a bees nest, but thought I could offer an insight. Keep doing what you are doing to make yourself healthier, exercise....eating right and so on. The healthier you are the better you will feel and ergo look. Do whatever cosmetically that makes you happy. Beyond that put it out of your mind.

Why? Guys will pick up on signals of self-consciousness or self-confidence long before they will ever see a 2 pound (or for that matter a 10 pound)difference in your weight or what ever else may bother you that day. Remember, you will always look at yourself with a more critical eye than anyone else will ever do.

It is more important that you be yourself and enjoy the time spent with friends and significant others because insodoing they will enjoy the time as well. It is this what friends and significant others remember, not a burn on your leg.

John

the burn on my leg is not something I show it is behind my leg, so that isn't an issue. It was the bloat and slight weight gain that I incurred ( perhaps psychosomatically) that was making me self conscious...but I see what you're saying and I agree. It was something that got to me in the moment but I DO keep the bigger picture in my mind. The bigger picture was momentarily blurred by the smaller one, but as I said we are human and sometimes, though we are conditioned to focus on what's most important, doubts and questions creep in.

I have fat, puffy, short days too. I'm pretty much of the same opinion as LisaJoy though. Most days, I just do me, and don't worry about my appearance to much with regard to the areas I can't change. On fat, puffy, short days though, I try to do what I can with what I've been given and remember fat days are temporary. I think as I get older, I think less about who's looking at me and why they're looking. I just do what I feel and look how I look. Maybe it comes with age. Maybe I'm getting old before my time...(goes to the bathroom mirror to search for grays)!

I'm not worried about what I can't change about my body, either. I am hard on myself at times when I feel I may be slacking in terms of exercise and diet but I use that as a reminder to do the best I can to make myself feel better and let it go. I don't bother thinking about who's looking at me whatsoever, that's never been me....if I don't know you, you can think what you want.....anywho Misty, I hope you didn't find any grays!!! :-p

Interesting responses, guys!